"The Pretender"

I want to know what became of the changes
We waited for love to bring
Were they only the fitful dreams
Of some greater awakening?

Caught between the longing for love
And the struggle for the legal tender

Say a prayer for the Pretender.
Who started out so young and strong
Only to surrender.

--Jackson Browne, from "The Pretender"


This is the life story of so many people I've met, and it breaks my heart. Almost everyone is jaded to some extent. Like the Pretender, we started out young and strong, at first trusting and believing in ourselves, our parents and heroes and friends, and then "growing-up."

Now when I speak of growing-up, I do not mean maturing, which is a process that I hope extends throughout my whole life. I am talking about the time of painful realization that the world is not full of truth and love. The world sucks. And I don't have all the answers. In fact, many of the answers I thought I had were only partially true or even complete b.s. Also, religion does not make sense in real life like it does in Sunday school.

So I think this "growing-up" eventually leaves us with two choices. Most choose to give up on love and truth in favor of "pretending." The struggle is just too hard, and what if, at the end of all the struggling, there really is no truth after all? I guess all that's worth living for is money and pleasure.

But of course if you know me, you know that I don't buy that. I choose the struggle because it's worth it. And so far, in all my honest struggling and searching, the only truth and love I've found is in God, revealed through Jesus Christ. I will not settle for pretending that I have all the truth, and I certainly will not settle for religion, which claims to have all the truth. I choose to pursue truth wherever it can be found, whether in a book, a song, or someone's life or wherever.